Reflections of the Paradoxes of Speaking

Now I can say it out loud, I’m almost a teacher!! I had the biggest test of our teacher education two weeks ago. It was about the Didactics and it was implemented as a group test so we accomplished our task as a group of four health science teacher students. This particular group has been together for a long time, approximately for two years. We have spent a lot of time together because of our studies and we have accomplished many tasks and achieved many goals in our journey. In this group we are already faced the forming, storming, norming, and performing stages and the group and its members have found the balance how to be successful.

 
As Smith & Berg (1997) refers the paradox of speaking is a description of the journey of a team to become a successful, active, well-functioning “ecosystem” where the members and the team find a balance to express their individual and mutual voice. The paradox of speaking deals with the concepts of authority, dependency, creativity and courage. The concepts represent the possibility of empowerment, the created conditions where a team can achieve its best outcome in an environment where the task and social orientation are in balance, people have a chance to engage in the team, to be productive without fearing mistakes and to have faith. In this particular study group we have been very successful, but also we have done mistakes. The paradox of speaking could also refer to communication, to the ability to speak up and use our own voice. It means that it is the only way to a group to learn to build the environment to be successful and have trust and faith. And trust me, we have learned how to communicate, both good and bad.

The key factor is the dynamic of influence team members have on each other. The paradox of speaking arises from an influencing process in groups and teams, the struggle with influencing and being influenced (Smith & Berg, 1997). In a team we need the courage to trust to influence and to be influenced. In my study group it’s unconditional because we are dependent from each other. Even though we have to work as individuals we have to acknowledge that without our team and our best effort we can’t achieve as good outcome as we can as a group. It’s our best interest to put an effort to a group because we all have the same goal: to become competent teachers of health sciences, to learn. This has been a journey that is going to face its last stage of group life, adjourning. And I already feel wistful because something good is going to end in some form. But on the other hand it means courage to let go because it means creativity. As it said in Smith & Berg (1997) something old must be destroyed to build something new. In addition it makes me realize that the end of my journey at the VCU is also facing its end soon. But that is something I don't want to think about, not yet.

The Learning Journey Continues and a little bit about the Paradoxes of Engaging

All the experiences of learning! Aahhh! We really had a fun class yesterday! In addition we have had an extremely fun two weeks before that. Now I’m talking about our time with our presentations and our first big goal to achieve. Last time I wrote about belonging, the first paradox of group life. During these two weeks something happened! In this team, Globetrotters, I really felt that we, as a team, were developing and we were moving towards engaging. The paradoxes of engaging consists of disclosure, trust, intimacy and regression (Smith & Berg, 1997, pp. 110-111). They refers that trust between the team members builds a safe environment where the team can develop, can communicate freely knowing that listening occurs, are able to make mistakes safely, are able to learn from them and succeed in an atmosphere where there is no contradiction between your own values and your teams values. And that is how I have felt during this time that we have had together when we have prepared our (awesome) presentation. I have to admit that I felt a little bit nervous yesterday before my “own part”. I trusted to my teammates so much that I could confess that I’m feeling unsure and nervous about my oral presentation and I might need some help. But as I said to my teammates after the presentation that I knew that if something goes wrong (I mean I start to get confused with my words for example) I have my teammates at my side who I can trust to help me out. 

As we could see in the movies "12 Angry men", "Apollo 13", and “Remember the Titans” how individuals from different backgrounds can achieve consensus, move from forming, storming, and norming to performing and achieve something important together. I could consider engaging as mutually approved understanding, as a journey how to be a successful team; how to get the pieces to fit together in an effective way and build an environment where members want to continue their journey within the group. I really feel that I want to engage to this group and continue my learning journey within the group.

Learning and Growing

New points of views, facets, ideas, experiences, and learning. Those are my thoughts of the group dynamics so far at the VCU. During my time here I have learned a lot about new cultures, ways to communicate and operate, and ways to get to know new people. I have been privileged to join in many different groups and face so many new point of views. And despite the fact that every group has its’ special characteristic, there is room for different personalities, backgrounds, opinions, and perspectives. That's why the best part of this journey is that I have started to feel that I fit in. I  have had a chance to start to show my own personality, identity and individuality. And the involvement in groups has been a rewarding participation in groups because of the social relationships.  I could say that I have started to feel belonging. 

As in the movies we have seen in the class there are many challenges in a journey of a team forming.  And also the reflections of the group dynamics of the readings to the real life and real situations has been a big part of my learning. As an exchange student I face new group situations almost in every day.  In my opinion it's important that I have had a chance to identify and reflect the challenges of a group dynamics in to my own experiences. It has made my journey much more interesting and easier! I consider myself as an explorer who tries to learn as much as possible. And the fun part is that it’s starting to change my worldview. By saying that, I mean some of my attitude and priorities. And it’s all positive! The new experiences with new people have helped me to learn things about myself. And even though one could see this change of my indentity or individuality as a paradox it doesn't always mean that it is a bad thing. I mean that I'm not trying to be something that I'm not. I mean that a change can be good and it can make us learn and grow. Time is making its’ magic and my journey here proceed successfully.